say it by yourself..

This is going to be surely one of those posts where in iam just letting the emotion out ....the feeelin iam going thru right now...without any thinking iam just writing in....cuz iam reallly low tonight...

Iam scared and worried....i dont know if you love me...cuz you dont say it....
You all must be wondering ....whom am i talking....iam talking about this general human being....who knows he is being superly loved by someone...
I just realised on how much ....i love my mother..even though i never told her...but i do now...irealise all of how much she has done for me....how much pain she has taken for me...just becoz she loves me...and yes i loveher too...but i alwayz complained and behaved cranky..never made he feel it...but today i want her to know that i love her like crazy...i want her to feel the emotion and get happy...
Coz there is nothing else in the world than hearing the person you love so much say a i love you in return...who does not want to be loved....it feels so good and wanted when somone comes and says I love you...

I dontwant to write any further...its just making go depressed...Desperately want someone and everyone to know that....just say it guys....dont ignore it....its just three words but they can compensate alll the emotions are words u want to express forever..

Hard Decisions to make...cuz iam gonna miss it...

Its 2.oo Pm in the afternoon and iam so freakingly worried...the wedding date is still four months away...and i am expected to quit or rather i also want to quit by the end of August..want to spend time with mum and the other members of the family ( this feeling surely comes to any girl be it a single family or a joint family)(i being in a joint family am feeling it quite alot..

Ive worked for this company for almost 18 months now and it has become a part of my life..you usually tend to segregate your life in different parts which are most important periods that you would want to keep as beautifull memories..

My workplace..where i got my first job is certainly a place where i have had beautifull memories...i entered this company when it was just a caterpillar and now its going to soon be a butterfly by this year end....but does my journey end by the end of august????this question is haunting me..irritating me and making me go crazzy...why???bcoz i have no answer for it...

This very moment when i need someone to talk to....i have no body....i cant share it wiht my friends coz they will not get it...they will think that i should start prioritizing things...i cannot share it with any of my other friends who are working coz they wouldnt feel the emotion and would not consider talking to me on something like this...

This is the place where my work is considered ...where iam known for what i do...in the way i do...my department is known by my name in this company...and yes..all thanks to the co-founders and the ppl whom i work with ....make me realise it...Iam fortunate to have worked with such wonderfull ppl...

Every day ppl ask me what have i decided and iam so confused do i have an answer for that question ....NO i dont...can i leave my department this way...when it will need me so much...no i cant...coz i have an attachment...a connect which no one can see and feel..

Iam just hurt cuz iam not able to decide on how to solve this situation....and i badly want someone to listen to me..

i will miss this company and my job when i am not here in hyd... you guyz rock...have been the best colleagues i will ever have....

Regular Post

Theres this song In the movie chalo dilli called Matargashtiyan….freak such an hilarious one but I seem to like it….Osama died…: ) : )….iam glad he did…peace to all those ppl who lost their loved ones all becoz of him…DC lost terribly..iam bored of watching cricket matches..i guess these guyz should be given some break… :P..may be a long summer vacation…but DC should be banned from IPL….god knows why are they even permitted to play….brrrrrr……not liking it…too many movies to catch up…

Life is taking a new turn….

Everyones life goes through this turn…and I consider myself fortunate enough to be taking this turn…even though iam scared ill fall…or may be iam hesitating…whether I will just hurt the people help me go through this path…you just want to make sure this is a safe ride…and you don’t wanna hurt anyone..i can see the speed breakers….and I know I will have to go through them…I just don’t want my bike to breakdown while driving on the speed breakers….it will get very difficult to ride this journey without it being there….

Yes…this is how it is….falling in love…taking a new turn into your regular…unusual zindagi..Iam going through it and it is surely an experience everyone should go through….knowing a person...getting addicted to the calls…getting used to the person..compromising on little things and feeling happy about doing them….and not in turn regretting them….its fun ….trust me this experience is a different kind….the want to sit mum on those late night calls when you run out of topics…not wanting to hang up on those calls…the want to spend maximum of your time thinking and talking about that particular person…yes.. it does happen…wanting to talk about that person to any and every person around you...someone actually starts ruling your mind and also your actions….you want to do all that can benefit the relationship….you want to make the surroundings of that particular person beautifulll and make sure they get to know that you they are really special to you….

This is what iam going through…. Strange but a beautiful feeling…the feeling which I hate to forget about…a person I don’t want to stop thinking about…I don’t know how ppl feelll whether its similar or is it different..But I know that whoever is going through it is just going through a roller coaster ride....:P..

Different ppl ….different natures…different lifestyles…but they want to just forget all those differences and have a happy life together by not living differently but by living with the differences..and accepting this special feeling of love..let it be how tough it can get..you still wanna be hang on…forget everything and give it a fresh start everytime just becoz this particular person starts to become a part of you…a part of everything you do….the song you sing…the food you eat….the movie you see…everything thing…

Dedicate this post to my hero – Fido – you surely are the one whose ruling my mind…Love you…

:-( :-(

very many reasons why am i low..
a. My eye is down with an infection....its gone red... and it keeps watering for no freaking reason..
b. i want some one to pamper me..Iam missing mom...mothers are sisters are always so concerned..
c.ppl around me are unhappy which makes me unhapppy..
d. 2 months is a long time...its high time someone realises that - it calls for a meet
e. ive started thinking too much :(


:( :( :(.....iam missing my mom...moms are so nice...they just care no matter how bad a child you are..

love you granpa

I had alwayz wanted to write a post on himm...and iam finally doing it...iam writing coz i want to tell him how much i love him....

Its been almost Sixteen years now that i have been staying with him....trust me he is such a sweet father,friend, brother,mother, and above all the coolest grandfather i have ever had...i have alwayz wanted to grab some good qualities from a few ppl...andhe comes first in the few peoples category .....i have seen him be the best father-in-law....the most romantic husband....a loving granpa...and above all a good human being...

At times trust me i have not liked him...he hasnt given me things which i reallly wanted in my life....and never gave me reasons for not giving them to me...but now when only few months are left before i leave this house and him...i want to forget it alll......and wnt to make the best use of time i can with him

Today, i had a very heart to heart conversation with him....wee usually talk to eachother abt our personal lifes...i have told him everything and he tells me all about what is happening with him and around him....and after i grew big..he also has started taking advices from me..

It had been quite sometime that i was not able to spend some quality time with him....today when i was not at office...chilling out at home...with my phone not ringing...not playng with the kids....and thankfullly no one at home just him and me....he called me and asked "kya chal raha hai".....-i know sounds like a reallly kewl granpa....that he is trust me...

Then we sat to talk...he asked me about office...he asked me about fido...he asked me about my wedding...and also asked me about allot more other things.. :P....and at the same time he told me about how he felt about all of it.....he gave his take on each n everything...it felt good...reallly good to hear him talk to me after sooooo long...then i asked him...."and whats going on at ur end".....he started of....he spoke about last few days....and the coming few days...he told me a few things which i was not needing to know about...but he still shared them with me...i felt like he wanted to talk to somebody and he spoke to me....sometimes you feeelll so good about being there for someone...especially whn someone has been there all the time for you..you just feel wonderful....he spoke...he wanted advice...i gave...loved it...trust me i loved it...for the first time he was sharing things without me forcing him to do so....

I had to leave the chat unended with him coz i had my friends atthe door step...waiting for me...and had to rush...i dint want to go out for the first time...jst wanted to sit and hear him...some qualities of his are just worth learning...

I just wanna tell him that he has been a great father and a too good grandfather... i love him lots..irrespective of few of my wants not being fulfilled....i love you poo poo...and trust me i would miss you the most after leaving this house....sorrryy fido....if my poo poo was young and was not related to me...i would surely get married to him...

I love you poo poo...even though your just sitting a few steps away from me...iam missing you....

The want to go for a HOLIDAY

Holiday ...i want to go for a holiday...
I cant believe it has just been 3 months that i had gone for a 15 day vacation and i want to go for it again....yes a mini one would but it has to happen...i dont wanna be home...want to visit some nice place..and not think of hyd and home and office...and about all the daily chores...just want to go on a vacation and do nothing...nothing at all..just pamper myself...

OK now i know where is it comming from... Someone please pamper me...